My 2015 wedding season finished over the weekend with a three day affair in Tuscany. It was an incredible weekend filled with so much love, laughter, my favourite people and just a splash too much chianti.
I find there's something about weddings though, as a long-time-single person. The more I go to, seeing the eyes-only-for-each-other-happy couple, the more I can't help but wonder if this will ever be me. If I'll get to know what that's like because lets face it, not everyone gets married. I wouldn't say I worry about it but it does make me feel, well, lonely. I was with a few of my closest friends at the wedding who are now paired off and the Tuscan couple radiated love like I've never seen at a wedding. It was beautiful but it heightened my own sense of singleness.
As the Tuscan wedding night rolled on and before we succumbed to the limoncello, the party was ushered outside to watch a fireworks display. I had hung back with the estate agent & her boyfriend while my other friends had bounded further into the scrum of spectators. Fireworks are romantic, there's no denying that, and I didn't want to intrude or feel like the unnecessary third wheel so I moved further away from them & sat down, as they enjoyed the moment together. Watching them, I felt a wave of aloneness wash over me. I wished I had someone to share this with too.
Suddenly I heard the estate agent shout 'ROZZLE!' I looked up to see her, one arm around her man and one arm gesturing to me, laughing. 'Rozzle!' again. 'Come into my circle of love!' she ordered. I beamed and headed over to join them. We stood there together, arms round each other under the glittering Tuscan night, 'oohs' and 'aahs' jostling with John Legend's 'All of me' and the crackle of fireworks. Standing in a three, knowing that, although I couldn't see all of them, some of my most favourite people were near me, I realised how unbelievably happy and surrounded by love I was.
I wasn't even close to being alone, not with this lot in my life.